What the Car Your Drive Says About You

Your car reveals a lot about your personality. So let's see what the car you drive says about you:

WagonR - You don't judge easily and are a little too accepting of ugliness

Maruti Celerio - You just care about economy and basically have no sense of style. You are the human equivalent of a vegetable patty.

VW Polo - You worship German engineering, but this is the only Europe an car you can afford

Swift - There's a high probability that you drive like an asshole and think that you are the only person in India who owns a car

Scorpio - You like exploring the outdoors and want to dominate the roads, but you can't afford a Pajero

White Scorpio - You are a rural badass who believes he owns all the lanes of the road, much like he does a few acres of land in his village and doesn't think any law applies to him. You also have a need to diplay your caste, your faith, and possibly even your family name on the rear windshield.

Fortuner - You have money and power and like to flaunt both. You are not to be messed with and even the law fears you

Endeavour - You have a small dick so you but this monster to compensate

Tata Safari - You make mistakes and show poor judgement like Rajesh Khanna in his movies

Skoda Laura - Haha just the name tickles the juvenile imagination

Mahindra Quanto - You are a gullible fool who'll fall for anything. You really thought you were buying a lifestyle?

Duster - You like the finer things in life, but it's your misfortune that you live in India, so this is the best you could get

Honda City - You think a hatchback wouldn't do justice to your persona and you're too sophisticated for a burly SUV. This sedan from Honda makes you feel like you have access to a world class automobile, so you can hold your head high without having to break the bank.

Audi/BMW/Merc/JLR etc - The potholes , assholes and jams wouldn't change, but at least you can appear superior while struggling to get ahead, side by side with an auto

Corolla Altis/VW Jetta - You are ambitious and like a smooth ride that makes you look good. You want the world to know how well you are doing. Status is important and when the first opportunity comes, you'll upgrade to a BMW or Audi or equivalent!

What the Car Your Drive Says About You

Your car reveals a lot about your personality. There was a time in India that no matter what your personality may have been, you could only pick a Fiat or an Ambassador. Things have now changed and you have more choice. So let's see what the car you drive says about you:

WagonR - You don't judge easily and are a little too accepting of ugliness

Maruti Celerio - You just care about economy and basically have no sense of style. You are the human equivalent of a vegetable patty.

VW Polo - You worship German engineering, but this is the only Europe an car you can afford

Swift - There's a high probability that you drive like an asshole and think that you are the only person in India who owns a car

Scorpio - You like exploring the outdoors and want to dominate the roads, but you can't afford a Pajero

White Scorpio - You are a rural badass who believes he owns all the lanes of the road, much like he does a few acres of land in his village and doesn't think any law applies to him. You also have a need to diplay your caste, your faith, and possibly even your family name on the rear windshield.

Fortuner - You have money and power and like to flaunt both. You are not to be messed with and even the law fears you

Endeavour - You have a small dick so you but this monster to compensate

Tata Safari - You make mistakes and show poor judgement like Rajesh Khanna in his movies

Skoda Laura - Haha just the name tickles the juvenile imagination

Mahindra Quanto - You are a gullible fool who'll fall for anything. You really thought you were buying a lifestyle?

Duster - You like the finer things in life, but it's your misfortune that you live in India, so this is the best you could get

Honda City - You think a hatchback wouldn't do justice to your persona and you're too sophisticated for a burly SUV. This sedan from Honda makes you feel like you have access to a world class automobile, so you can hold your head high without having to break the bank.

Audi/BMW/Merc/JLR etc - The potholes , assholes and jams wouldn't change, but at least you can appear superior while struggling to get ahead, side by side with an auto

Corolla Altis/VW Jetta - You are ambitious and like a smooth ride that makes you look good. You want the world to know how well you are doing. Status is important and when the first opportunity comes, you'll upgrade to a BMW or Audi or equivalent!

Captain Cook, Oceania, and the Bihar Connection

I suspect that Captain Cook and his crew who mapped Oceania were Biharis.

Think about what must have happened. They would have seen vast expanses of the ocean and the crew would have asked the captain, "sahib ee ka hai?"

To which the captain would have replied, "aye budhbak, dikhta nahin hai ka, ee oceaniya hai!"

And that's how the name would have stuck, Oceania!

Amit's Jokes

Cow slaughter is illegal in India, but bulls are mostly fair game. You know why?

Coz that's their payback for copulating with the revered cow!

Ever felt like the walls of the Taj Mahal are talking to you?

That's because they are made of "sangemurmur"!

The next mosquito borne disease should be named paneergunia so that vegetarians don't feel left out.

Chameli-un: a fragrant flower than can change its odour depending on its surroundings!

Those paintings of a black shoe you see at the back of Indian trucks are the original specimens of virtual reality!

Try this. If you're eating and there's a Japanese person around you, have them take a bite out of your food.

Then sing "mera jhoota hai japani"!

Whenever I see a bull roaming around chauda ho kar on the road, I wanna say to him, saale Pakistan ja ke dekh, phir pata chalega!

When there's a drought next year, you'll know that the prayers of millions of frustrated commuters have been answered!

I looked into the pothole filled with rain water and saw the reflection of corruption's ugly visage staring back at me.

Fridays are so sweet, they should be called suchrevaar or sugarvaar!

think when the Counting Crows named their album "August and Everything After" back in the 90s, they had the Indian holiday calendar in mind!

Elections and Erections

In India, if a politician wins an election and screws the country, we are ok with it. But if the same politician gets an erection, and is caught screwing another person, we get outraged.

Gurgaon Potholes and Pink Floyd Induced Psychedelia

The Gurgaon municipality folks seem to have misunderstood the lyrics of "another brick in the wall". The rate at which they stuff bricks into potholes, they probably think PF said "another brick in the hole". Accent pakadna thoda difficult tha sirji!

Empty Water Bottles and Discharged Batteries

You know the irritation people feel when they open the fridge only to find all the water bottles nearly empty?

In today's digital age families, that feeling comes from finding wireless gadgets nearly completely out of charge when you want to use them!